


Tingling

by fairiesshouldhaveveils



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 03:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15306033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairiesshouldhaveveils/pseuds/fairiesshouldhaveveils
Summary: "There’s a second, as she’s waiting near the window alone, where a whispered feeling of not belonging and “What am I DOING here?” almost takes over, but then she remembers she’s Kat Edison."Set in Ep 2x06.





	Tingling

That’s the feeling. She can only describe it as…tingling. 

The invitation from Leila to come out tonight was…dubious at best. Sutton’s reaction alone should have made her think twice, but she couldn’t shake that whisper of longing. That creeping sensation that she was somehow…missing something. Some part of herself that had been there all along and had only just now made it’s presence known.

A couple seconds too long watching the models at shoots. The fleeting warmth of a passing touch that should have otherwise been innocent. The more-than-comfort feeling she’d had when her roommate in college would cuddle up to watch soaps on the days their schedules synced up. 

This has been building for so long, this rumbling of something…more. 

Meticulously applying makeup and smoothing her hands over already skintight clothes makes her feel sheepish, silly even. Like she did at 18 the first time she went out to a club just because she could.

She guesses this is kind of like that, isn’t it? Only way more terrifying.

Sheepish and something else previously unfamiliar tugging quietly, but insistently, begging to be considered. Only in hindsight, in the hours late into the next morning, will she recognize those first pangs of guilt. Of her conscience cautioning her against the path she was choosing.

Still nothing more than a whisper and it’s not enough to overcome the burning curiosity. It’s not enough to stop her sliding her arms into her jacket and heading out.

This says more than she’s ready or willing to admit to herself. 

When she arrives and she can hear the dull thumping of the music from outside is when the first nerves take their home in the pit of her stomach. 

There’s a second, as she’s waiting near the window alone, where a whispered feeling of not belonging and “What am I DOING here?” almost takes over, but then she remembers she’s Kat Edison. She’s the first black female department head at Scarlet Magazine and no room should intimidate her. 

A deep breath is all she needs to she’s slip inside and just as before…just a whisper. Gone as quickly as it came as she takes in the scene before her. 

She’s noticed immediately and she knows it. Feels it all the way to the tip of every finger. The room is so full of women who love women and of possibilities she’s never considered until Adena. It’s overwhelming and exhilarating and when she locks eyes with a gorgeous girl holding a drink and shameless in her appreciation…there’s only one thing she can think. 

Tingling.

Later on, lying on Jane’s couch and feeling warmly buzzed she remembers all the feelings. 

She thinks about the knot in the pit of her stomach and the hesitance she’d felt when accepting the invite. 

She thinks about Adena and how much she cares for her, loves her. About how losing her would feel like losing sunshine after being kept in a dark room most of her life. About how selfish she feels for forgetting her, even just for that one moment.

She guiltily thinks about Daniela. She thinks about the feeling of her body pressed against hers. She thinks about the unfamiliar taste of her lips, full and insistent. She shudders involuntarily and she feels worse and more confused because of it. 

She knows she has to tell Adena; hates herself a little more as a small part of her selfishly hopes Adena can help her understand her new distress. 

As she drifts off to sleep, still floating from those last shots she’d taken, all she can think about is the tingling.


End file.
